By Connie Stieler
Inspired by a post seen here…8-Bit Penis Scarf.

This scarf will amaze and dazzle, or terrify people wherever you go! The ultimate gag gift or bridal shower accessory! This pattern is available for FREE to Knotty Hookers everywhere! Yes I did take quite some time to get this beauty ready but in the end it was not my original idea. There were no apparent resources included with the original photo even after days of searching so this is simply my interpretation. This pattern has not been tested but I feel my notes were accurate, I will not claim them to be perfect I am human after all. Please enjoy and post your pics online, I would love to see what you come up with!
Please note that this is pattern is better suited for intermediate/experienced crocheters and isn't beginner friendly.
You will need to prepare bobbins in advance or use separate skeins for colour changes as you do not want to carry your yarn in this project, just simply drop until you come back to it on the next row when you will need it again.
When changing colours, do so by finishing previous stitch with the new colour.
Loops & Threads Impeccable
Lippy for main colour = P
Rich Orchid for head = O
Black = B
J or 6mm hook
Ch 2 counts as first stitch throughout pattern unless otherwise stated.
On return row, you will sc in to 1st ch of turning ch 2.
Starting at widest part of testicles.
- Starting with B ch 3, P ch 29, B ch 1, P ch 29, B ch 3. Ch 2 turn.
- Working in purl bump behind chain (this helps tremendously when finishing bottom portion of scarf) sc in 2nd ch from hook and across row, changing colours as needed. End of row should read 4 B, 30 P, 2 B, 30 P, 4 B. Ch 2 turn. ( 70 st )
- Repeat 9 times more ( 10 rows total ).
Continue in this manner for 6 more rows, eliminating the 2 B in the middle of the row.
At end of 6th row ch 1 instead of 2. Turn.
- Sl st into 1st 4 st and 1st P st. Ch 1, sc in same st. Sc in next 3 st. P sc across row to last 4 P st of previous row. 4 B sc, ch 2 turn.
End of row should read 4 B, 54 P, 4 B. ( 62 st )
- 3 B, 54 P, 4 B, ch 2 turn.
Repeat 2 more times ( 4 rows total )
At end of 4th row, ch 1 instead of 2. Turn.
- Sl st into 1st 4 st and 1st P st. Ch 1, sc in same st. Sc in next 3 st. P sc across row to last 4 P st of previous row. 4 B sc, ch 2 turn.
- 3 B, 46 P, 4 B, ch 2, turn.
Repeat 4 times more. ( 6 rows total)
At end of 6th row ch 1 instead of 2. Turn. ( 54 st )
- Sl st into 1st 4 st and 1st P st. Ch 1, sc in same st. Sc in next 7 st. P sc across row to last 8 P st of previous row. 8 B sc, ch 2 turn.
- 7 B, 30 P, 8 B, ch 2 turn.
Repeat 3 times more. ( 5 rows total )
At end of 5th row ch 1 instead of 2. Turn. ( 46 st )
- Sl st into 1st 8 st and 1st P st. Ch 1, sc in same st and next 3 sc, P sc across row to last 4 P st of previous row. 4 B sc, ch 2 turn.
End of row should read 4 B, 22 P, 4 B. This row sets you up for the shaft of the scarf.
- 3 B, 22 P, 4 B, ch 2 turn. ( 30 st )
Here’s where things get boring for awhile…
Repeat 217 times more or longer if you desire.
Head:
- 3 B, 4 P, 13 B, 4 P, 4 B, ch 2 turn.
Repeat 4 more times. ( 5 rows total )
- 7 B, 13 O, 8 B, ch 2 turn.
Repeat 5 times more ( 6 rows total )
- 3 B, 22 O, 4 B, ch 2 turn.
Repeat 4 more times ( 5 rows total )
- 3 B, 10 O, 2 B, 10 O, 4 B, ch 2 turn.
Repeat 5 times more ( 6 rows total )
At end of 6th row ch 1 instead of 2.
- Sl st into 1st 4 B and 1st O. Ch 1, sc in same st.
3 B, 6 O, 2 B, 6 O, 4 B, ch 2 turn.
- 3 B, 6 O, 2 B, 6 O, 4 B, ch 2 turn.
Repeat 5 times more ( 7 rows total )
At end of 7th row ch 1 instead of 2.
- Sl st in 1st 4 B and 1st O. Ch 1, sc in same st. 5 B, ch 2 turn.
- 5 B, ch 2 turn.
Repeat 2 more times. ( 4 rows total )
- Using next B bobbin, sl st in 1st O st. Ch 1, sc in same st. 5 B, ch 2 turn.
- 5 B, ch 2 turn.
Repeat 2 more times ( 4 rows total )
FO.
Finishing Testicles
- Join B with sl st to 1st P st. ( Your work should be upside down now. If you worked your 1st row into the purl bump of the chain as recommended you should have a nice row of ch st to sc into. This will make your scarf appear seamless, no one will be able to tell where you started. )
Ch 1, sc in same st. 3 B, 22 P, 10 B, 22 P, 4 B, ch 2 turn.
- 3 B, 22 P, 10 B, 22 P, 4 B, ch 2 turn.
Repeat 4 times more. ( 6 rows total )
At end of 6th row ch 1 instead of 2.
- Sl st in 1st 4 B and 1st P, ch 1, sc in same st. 3 B, P sc across row to last 4 P of previous row. 4 B, ch 2 turn.
*** - 3 B, 15 P, 4 B, ch 2 turn.
Repeat 2 times more ( 4 rows total )
At end of 4th row ch 1 instead of 2.
- Sl st in to 1st 4 B and 1st P, ch 1, sc in same st. Sc across row to last P st, ch 2, turn.
- Sc across row, ch 2 turn.
Repeat 2 times more ( 4 rows total )
FO ***
Second Testicle
With B, sl st in to P st. Ch 1, sc in same st and next 3 st. 15 P, 4 B, ch 2 turn.
Repeat from ***.
Pockets - Make 2
- Ch 18 + 1. Turn
- Sc in 2nd ch from hook and across. Ch 2 turn.
Repeat for a total of 17 rows.
Leave long tail for sewing pocket onto scarf.
Use picture for pocket placement or attach where desired.
Pockets are made for a few small items and not for a huge hand, feel free to change it up!
FO, weave in ends. Enjoy your hard work and expect a few laughs!
My finished scarf measured in at 69.5" long 19.5" wide at full ball span.
Happy Hooking,
Connie
*** ATTENTION!! I am so grateful and excited to add a graph for all you visual folks out there! Many many many thanks to Jenn and her team from Yankee Yarns who actually graphed this pattern and have given me permission to add them to my pattern for all to use. I am completely overwhelmed with the response to this pattern. Please remember that I am not a professional pattern writer and I have offered this for free based on how I deciphered it from only looking at a photo. I sure hope the graph option will be helpful to everyone, happy hooking!***
I am SO GLAD you drafted this pattern! My husband showed me months ago a picture of a scarf like this and begged me to make one, but I couldn't find a pattern and didn't have time to draft one myself. I randomly searched Ravelry this afternoon and found your pattern. Of course, I started on it immediately! One thought so far- at the first part where the testicles start to narrow, I think it should be 4B 54P 4B, right? At least that's what I end up with and doing the math works the same way (70 stitches minus the 8 stitches you're cutting out minus the 8 P stitches that are now B equals 54). Anyway, I'm going to keep working. I'm excited for the final product!
ReplyDeleteYes you're right! I'm wondering now if the numbers will all be off! I will go back through and check, thank you so much!
DeleteI'm on the shaft now with 23 P stitches. I had 31 P stitches instead of 29 and before that I had 46 P instead of 45, I think.
DeleteI'm just doing the math right now, when I look back I should have 54, 46, 30 and 22 P. I wish I still had the scarf so I can count it!
DeleteI was also wondering why one side went down to 3 here. I have 4b, 54p, and 4 b.
DeleteAlso:
- 3 B, 54 P, 4 B, ch 2 turn.
Repeat 2 more times ( 4 rows total )
At end of 4th row, ch 1 instead of 2. Turn.
If you repeat 2 more times that's 3 not 4 total correct? 2+1=3
I thought that too. But she isn't counting the check as a stich so when you add that it's is the 4b 54p 4b. And the first row that narrow is the first row in this set so she writes that you do the next and then repeat 2 more times becomes 1+1+2 which is 4
DeleteWorking in purl bump?
ReplyDeleteOk confused I do crochet alot but never used the graph pattern technique any help would be greatly appreciated as wanted to make this my best friend for her 40th
When you start working into your chain, instead of working your stitch into the 'v' that you see, work your stitch into the bump behind them. It can be a little tricky at first.
DeleteI think you mean back post crochet....no such thing as purl bump in crochet.
DeletePurl bump is a thing. Back post stitch is another method. The purl bump is usually just called working into the back bump of the chain, but it is a thing.
Deletehow many skeins will I need to complete this pattern?
ReplyDeleteFor the main color I used one whole 4.5 oz skein and approximately half of another. For the tip I hardly made a dent in the skein. I'd say I used about half of a skein for black as well.
DeleteI finished mine a week or so ago and my husband LOVES it, as does anyone who sees it! I posted photos on Ravelry. Thanks again for sharing your pattern!
ReplyDeleteI saw your pics on Ravelry! Awesome job, thanks for posting and THANK YOU so much for catching my count errors :)
DeleteIs there a way yo make this scarf with one testical? I had a request from a guy at work that knows I love to crochet..
ReplyDeleteI'm sure with some tweaking it could be done. Sorry I don't have the time to figure it out for you though.
DeleteHi I love your pattern and I'm new to doing patterns like this I was hoping to have you explain it a little more in the beginning where does it stay on the picture in between the testicles or at the bottom of them.if you could let me know i appreciate it
ReplyDeleteHello, the pattern starts at the bottom right hand corner at the widest part of the testicles. The bottom is added at the end of the pattern.
DeleteHi just finished this scarf ..... Question the ends are curled up , would blocking help ?
ReplyDeleteThank you
It wouldn't hurt to try, sorry I didn't have this problem, maybe you crochet too tightly?
DeleteI guess Im jusy stuck in the beginning. You say to chain multiple colors. How do you do that?
ReplyDeleteYou just use a different color to pull up a loop or chain. It's fiddly at first and you will have a few extra ends to weave in but it can be done.
DeleteI found doing the single crochet foundation stitch helped alot instead of chaining and changing colours
DeleteI had tried making my own graph for this and was having issues with the bottom of the testicles. What a genius idea to finish at the end instead of trying to increase across a row! I can now make this for my cousin-in-law as a gag gift for Christmas this year. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThanks it was definitely an 'aha!' moment. I hope your cousin loves it :)
DeleteI'm kind of confused when starting this. It says "- Starting with B ch 3, P ch 29, B ch 1, P ch 29, B ch 3. Ch 2 turn." which equals 65 stitches, but when you go to the next row, you are supposed to end with 70. How do I add in those 5 extra stitches?
ReplyDeleteit equals 67* no 65
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteI can to the same problem
DeleteJust coming back to say I just finished my second penis scarf! Still love the pattern!
ReplyDeleteI am an experienced crocheted and I'm having difficulty getting started as well. How do suggest increasing the row after the starter chain. Also when changing color on the beginner chain, I lose the purl for that stitch. Help! I want to make this as a Christmas gift.
ReplyDeleteNot going to lie- i have been sitting here for 3 hours trying to get the first few rows. I've tried so many different ways. Can anyone help? It seems i'm having the same issue as Cheryl- how do you not lose the purl when changing colors on the chain? I'm also not sure how to go from the 1 black stitch in the middle to 2 on the next row? any help would be appreciated
ReplyDeleteI've made this scarf twice now. The first time I had to fenangle a way to not lose the purl bump. The second time I ended up starting with a slip knot in each color. So when it came time to switch to the new color, I'd pull the slip knot through and go from there. It made a huge difference in not losing the purl bump. As far as going from one stitch to two in the next row, you never count the loop on your hook, so when you change colors, you'll have two because of that uncounted loop on your hook. Hope that helps!
DeleteThank you sooooooo much! This helped TREMENDOUSLY!!! I just finished mine! Not bad for a first try! Thanks again! I really wanted to make this as a christmas gift, and it's done!! You are awesome!
DeleteHi! I started this last night and first, I had never done a starting chain with multiple colors. So that was my first confusion ��
ReplyDeleteThe part I'm having the hardest time figuring out is we chain - " with B ch 3, P ch 29, B ch 1, P ch 29, B ch 3. Ch 2 turn."
Then once we sc Across our numbers go to "4 B, 30 P, 2 B, 30 P, 4 B. "
So we go from 65 + ch2 to 70 + ch 2.
What am I missing? I'm stumped! Thanks for any help!
Yeah am having the same problem with the numbers did you get a answer?
DeleteHeather and Wende, when you count stitches for your chain, you don't count the loop that's on your hook. But when you pull up the new color, that loop drops off your hook and becomes a chain stitch. So when you "B ch 1" and then change colors, you end up with two B chain stitches. It makes way more sense as you're doing it.
DeleteCan someone upload a picture of what the back should look like? Or at least tell me how to switch colors?
ReplyDeleteWhen you switch colors, you do it in the stitch before you need the new color. So (for example) when you have one P stitch left, insert hook into that last stitch, yarn over, and pull up a loop. Then, keeping a tail, pull black yarn through both loops. Insert into the next (B) stitch and continue crocheting as usual. I don't have a picture (I'm contemplating making a video, just awaiting permission from the pattern designer here), but when I'm doing color changes, I have a way of moving the yarn so both wrong and right sides look the same between color changes. When working on the wrong side, I wrap the old yarn forward and to the right (toward worked stitches) before switching to the new color. It keeps it from having that laggy, mixed color look on the back.
Deleteplease please, make a video!! I can follow a video better than written instructions, it would be a great help to all wives around the world with awesome husbands that need a penis scarf in their lives..... written by a husband...
DeleteIf I finish the main color for the row and am about to hit the edge I cut it off, pull the tail through, and insert the hook IN the loop of the last stitch of the main color and continue to insert it into the stitch that one is in. So you'd pick up the next color where you're leaving off with the old one.
DeleteCrochet Crowd has great videos for changing colours. It's in the graphghan series.
DeleteMy friend just sent me this but I don't crochet, I knit. Is there any possible way to write this for a knitted pattern?
ReplyDeleteThanks in advance
I am so sorry that there seems to be a lot of confusion here and I definitely don't want that. @Brianna Lebrecht, THANK YOU for taking time to explain so much here. I really don't have the setup to make videos unfortunately. I will try to rewrite the pattern and take progress pics and hopefully that will help people out.
ReplyDeleteWhat size crochet hook do we use?
ReplyDeleteNever mind I found the info!
DeleteAbout how much time does this take to make?
ReplyDeleteI've made two of these. The first one took about four days (I ran out of yarn part way through and couldn't get to the store) with binge watching TV and just crocheting around my kiddos' needs/meals. The second one I worked on around my work schedule and other life activities and it took me three to four weeks. It all depends on how fast you crochet and the timeline you're working on.
DeleteTwo days with serious effort. 3 with minimal but continuous.
DeleteIt took me about a week to make but I was trying to figure it out as I went. It shouldn't take more than a few days working on it.
ReplyDeleteThank you! One more question!! How many bobbins of black should someone make? I've never done anything like this before.
ReplyDeleteI think I divided my skein of black into three balls, two larger ones and one smaller one. The testicles and part of the head you'll need three bobbins, but the rest you only need the two.
DeleteThank you!!
DeleteFor the first row of the head should it not be 3B 4P 14B 4P and 4B?
ReplyDeleteI'm wondering the same thing..
DeleteYeah, like they go down one stitch for a few rows and then go back up but say nothing of a decrease or increase?
DeleteI am on my fourth penis scarf. People really seem to enjoy the pattern, I have to make 3 more before the 25th and it takes about 3 days each with my pace. I just LOVE this pattern, not just for sales, but everyone (for the most part) is super happy ro see this and it makes others laugh.
ReplyDeleteHi Selena,
DeleteQuick question: how much do you charge for one when you sell it? I am making one for a friend but don't know what to charge. Thanks for any info/advice! :)
Done in three days! Thank you for the pattern!!
ReplyDelete😄
ReplyDeleteJust wondering this is crochet and not knit cuz I don't see sc DC hdc thank u waiting for response
ReplyDeleteThis is a crochet pattern - it is all in single crochet though, not double crochet (dc) or half double crochet (hdc)
DeleteJust wondering this is crochet and not knit cuz I don't see sc DC hdc thank u waiting for response
ReplyDeleteThis is entirely a crochet pattern! It is made up of single crochets. This pattern is written in US/Canadian terms.
Delete